Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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