you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
