babies were throwing up all over the place
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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