If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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