is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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