a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
