I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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