My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
