who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I want to be your penis for a week.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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