The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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