She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
