just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
