just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
