dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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