I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I smell like Dick and happiness
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
