omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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