Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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