office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
