dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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