I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
