I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
