i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
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yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
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This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
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