question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
