We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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