I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
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