Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
