he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
