No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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