is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
