I want to walk on stilts...naked
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
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