Me. At least after what I've been through.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
