...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
