we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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