My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
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