he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize