so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
