the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
