I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
