Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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