is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
