i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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