i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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