apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
