you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
