Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Randomize
