Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
