That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize