fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
