I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
