You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
