She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
