it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize