Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(510): View more from California

just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?

Fav 57 4360 1094
share tweet
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face

Fav 23 1354 4798
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(301): View more from Maryland

did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.

Fav 14 6979 1546
share tweet
(303): View more from Colorado

And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.

Fav 11 1048 3710
share tweet
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(413): View more from Massachusetts

you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure

Fav 6 3686 946
share tweet
(720): View more from Colorado

My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever

Fav 6 3609 963
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(310): View more from California

I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle

Fav 6 1546 787
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(724): View more from Pennsylvania

We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.

Fav 1 383 169
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(757): View more from Virginia

Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.

Fav 0 30 6
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT