Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!