I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
