I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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