I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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