Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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