I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
