8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
