he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
