I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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