Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
