ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
