Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
