So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
she looked like the before picture.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
