She said her name was "party"
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
