Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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