i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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