You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
