kristin has been a bad kristin
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
