Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
