I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Never underestimate the power of titties
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
