Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize